If you were asked to name the top three life skills, how would you answer? It’s a hard question. We would probably all come up with different things at different points in our lives. It may be having good interpersonal skills, it might be making decisions, or it could be our ability to think critically about situations and analyse what action to take. Sometimes, it is just about getting out of bed in the morning and being able to find something clean to wear!
Life is beautiful, and it is also hard. It is full of joy and sorrow. And it begins and it ends. But only when we try to understand it and embrace it all, can we experience it fully and live our lives well.
So, how do we develop our understanding of what life skills we need? Sometimes it is by trial and error, or sometimes they are inherent in our personality type. But sometimes we are lucky enough to have someone in our lives who demonstrates the life skills that we can only aspire to, someone who is our inspiration, our foundation and our wisdom.
I have been lucky enough to have someone in my life exactly like that – my father, who taught me everything that I am proud to be. Here are my top three life skills, inspired by him.
Nothing comes easily in life. You need to accept that you have to work hard towards your goals, and that the higher you climb towards them, the further you will potentially fall. Success is not about luck per se, although a little helps, and we all have different starting points. However, the way to succeed is first to be determined about what you want. It is about keeping on trying to get it, and not giving up when all seems lost, but finding the hope and the strength to keep on trying. Our ability to continue trying to do something even though it is difficult is the key to getting through the complexities life brings. How do we conjure up that determination? By finding our reason for reaching our goals, by asking ourselves why it matters to us and how we would feel if we gave up, and by having the people who love us tell us that they believe in us and that we can do anything.
Kindness as a life skill seems in complete contrast to determination. It can come across as a soft skill, a non-essential skill or something that is not really going to get you anywhere. In fact, it is the total opposite. Kindness is an essential – something that builds our relationships and sustains them, that allows trust, that bonds people together and creates a support network, and something that people never forget. Try doing something with, and then without, kindness, and you will see the difference in outcome. Kindness sprinkles success over outcomes, longevity over goals reached and a type of resilience that can overcome any adversity or challenge. Showing kindness to others when we do not know what they are facing, to those we do not know and perhaps will not meet again, and to those we do not want to take for granted is only possible if we show kindness to ourselves. Forgiving ourselves when we think we have made a mistake, encouraging ourselves when we are low and treating ourselves as of equal value and importance to other people.
Determination helps us to strive towards something, kindness allows us to sustain and strengthen the outcome of what we do, but trust is the key life skill we need to accept those outcomes, and accept events that we do not want to happen. There is only so much we can control, and we can only do our best, and then after that we have a choice. Life asks us to accept and to step gracefully into what is, or risk getting more confused and tired trying to make things different to how they are. This does not mean we give up, rather we learn to trust in life – that it knows what direction it is taking us in, that there is some bigger meaning and purpose to what is happening, or that it is trying to protect us. This trust in life also requires us to engage in the biggest challenge of all – to trust in ourselves, to believe in who we are, no matter what anyone else says or thinks, and to trust that, no matter what happens, we have more about us and more in us than we could ever have realised.
Comments
Leave a Comment