When my eldest child, Charlie, asked if he could have a sip of beer or Guinness for his 16th birthday earlier this month, I had a momentary flashback to my own 16th. I had a house party, downed half a bottle of Malibu (or was it Mirage?) and snogged seven boys during a game of spin the bottle.
As far as I know, my son has never had a girlfriend, touched any alcohol or smoked a cigarette or vape. Perhaps I am deluded or remain in a perpetual state of ignorant bliss, but my son and his friends, at his co-ed grammar school, all seem equally sensible. Their weekends are spent playing football, shouting at the PlayStation or trawling round local flea markets and town hall sales to buy “vintage” 90s gear.
I don’t want to tempt fate – and maybe the worst is yet to come – but when I was his age I was smuggling small bottles of Smirnoff or Bacardi into pubs to pour into my Coca Cola or sneaking off to the Hilton hotel to buy cigarettes from the vending machine (or stealing them from my mum). I shudder to think of all the compromising situations I got myself into.
These wayward teenage proclivities defined my formative years and probably helped give me the healthy dose of cynicism and streetwise outlook I carried with me into adulthood. Is my son missing out a bit, I wonder, by leading a relatively sheltered life in comparison?
My son and his peers are part of “generation sensible” and are, according to a recent study, arguably more conservative than previous generations. Whereas my generation, Gen X (although I am, I hasten to add, more of a Xennial as I was born in the late 70s) were all about booze, grunge and raves, Gen Z hardly drink, work out and care more about looking after themselves than getting trashed.
In fact, the study found that a third of Gen Zers thought it was better for a couple to be married before having children and that less than a quarter had one night stands or casual sex. The study also showed that only one in 10 would want to work in an office full-time, whereas for most of us Gen Xers, being in the office for romantic flings and after-work drinks were a rite of passage.
Unfortunately for him this year, Charlie’s birthday coincided with the second round of his mock GCSEs, so we have said he can celebrate properly after they have finished. He will be going to a water park with 11 friends and then they are – god help us – all coming back here for pizza and a sleepover. As we live in a small village with limited public transport, I don’t expect any of them to be sneaking off into town or smuggling girls through the bedroom window.
I don’t expect we’ll get much sleep that night and the house will probably smell overwhelmingly of socks, farts and Lynx. I don’t know whether to be pleased or horrified that it’s such a far cry from my teenage antics in the naughty 90s.
Our parents didn’t even know (or care) where we were most of the time and, thankfully, there was no one to record our antics for social media, whereas Gen Z (those born between 1997 and 2012) have grown up with phones, helicopter parenting and having their every move monitored and tracked.
Perhaps the helicopter parenting and the threat of having any and every misdemeanour documented and posted on social media is partly what has made Gen Z so damn sensible.
Although I was raised on what my late mum (jokingly) called “healthy neglect”, I, for one, am grateful for the opportunity to track my son’s whereabouts because there are times, when he ignores my calls but expects to be picked up at the drop of a hat, where it’s very useful to know where he is.
Their lives are dominated by social media apps. A recent survey by Morning Consult, a data-intelligence firm, found that Gen Z spend around four hours a day on social media with YouTube, Instagram, TikTok and Snapchat being the most popular apps. Although they may be more connected than ever, they are lonelier than ever too. A recent study by think-tank Onward found that 16- to 24-year-olds (9.8 per cent) are three times as likely to say they feel lonely “often or always” as people aged 65 or over (3 per cent) while 25- to 34-year-olds are twice as likely as those aged 65 or over. Talking online doesn’t compare with face to face interaction where you can read expressions and tone and bond IRL.
We also know, through countless reports and, you know, basic common sense, that there is a clear link between social media usage and mental health. A recent study by Oxford University found that teenagers who spent more time on social media were more likely to suffer with anxiety and depression.
And let’s not forget that younger Gen Zers such as my son and his peers are also part of the Covid cohort. He pretty much missed his last year of primary school due to lockdown and all those important little milestones, from leavers assemblies to school discos, were cancelled. Then his first year of secondary school was completely disrupted by intermittent lockdowns so perhaps it’s no wonder that they are a little more cautious and risk-averse than their parents.
Thankfully, my son seems happy enough and I’m pleased he has such a great group of mates to hang out with, despite the fact they don’t go out and get up to the wild sorts of things I used to. Maybe they are all the better for it.
I’m not sure I would want my son getting hammered, snogging girls and falling out of pubs like I used to. I’m not even sure they can use fake IDs like we did, or if he’d be able to memorise and knock a few years off his birthday when asked his age on the spot. I doubt he’d be allowed to buy any beer without someone reporting him. I expect he might find Malibu a bit too sweet too.
Who is to say which generation has it right? I suppose we are all a product of our time. I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
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