I know lots about money, but can I tell my friends to stop asking for help?

In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.

Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally; is your partner overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and The i Paper’s money and business team will do our best to answer.

This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at [email protected] with yours.

I’ve always been good with money. Budgeting, saving, investing – it comes naturally to me and I’ve always been interested in making the most of the money I have.

I’ve spent years building my financial knowledge and putting it to good use. I do talk about it a lot and my friends have started to notice. Now they won’t stop asking me for help to learn about it.

At first, I didn’t mind. A quick tip here, a book recommendation there – it felt good to help them out. But it’s become more than that.

Some want full-on guidance, expecting me to sit down and walk them through their personal finances, helping them budget, invest, and plan like I do. It’s exhausting on top of my full-time job, and frankly, I don’t want to do it.

If they were paying me, it would be different, but I obviously can’t charge them. It feels wrong to put a price on friendship. But my time is valuable, and I’ve spent years learning what I know.

Why should I be giving away something so useful for free? It’s not like they’d expect a personal trainer friend to coach them every week for nothing.

I do feel guilty. I know I could really help them, and I don’t want to seem selfish. But at the same time, this is my time and energy they’re asking for.

How do I tell them no without damaging our friendship?

It’s a tough situation, but you shouldn’t feel guilty for setting boundaries.

You’re right, your knowledge is valuable, and while it’s great that your friends trust you, that doesn’t mean you have to take on the role of their unpaid financial adviser.

A good compromise is to direct them to resources that can help them take charge of their own financial learning.

Websites like MoneyHelper and Citizens Advice offer solid, free financial guidance tailored to different needs.

You could also suggest books or podcasts that helped you, whichever stand out to you the most. This can provide them with the expert insights they’re looking for without taking up your precious time.

If they need more hands-on help, just encourage them to seek professional advice.

Some financial advisers offer free initial consultations, and while there is a cost involved, it ensures they get tailored, qualified support.

I’d also be honest with them – I think this is important. Let them know you appreciate their trust but don’t have the capacity to give them the attention they need so they know not to ask you again.

If they’re serious about improving their finances, they’ll take your recommendations and do the work themselves. You can be a supportive friend without becoming their unpaid financial planner.