Assists and the value of statistics are all the rage in modern football.
Ange Postecoglou is having none of it, insisting it can come off one’s behind and be counted as an assist, rendering any compliments over such stats useless.
But when we are talking Bruno Fernandes‘s numbers, it is a very different conversation altogether.
Regardless of how they came about, since his Premier League debut in February 2020, only Mohamed Salah and Kevin De Bruyne have more Premier League assists than Fernandes after his match-winning cross for Harry Maguire in another shambolic Manchester United victory over Ispwich on Wednesday night.
HARRY MAGUIRE FIRES MAN UNITED BACK INTO THE LEAD AGAINST IPSWICH!
What a game this is 🤯
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— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) February 26, 2025
Exalted company, but not a fair comparison. Think about who is on the end of Fernandes’ chance creation, in comparison to the elite finishers De Bruyne and Salah have had to aim at over the years.
Fernandes’ achievements in getting Odion Ighalo, Wout Weghorst and Maguire to score goals deserves the utmost acclaim.
The fact the numbers have not diminished in the current turmoil at Old Trafford is a remarkable feat.
It won’t go down in United folklore but should not be forgotten when the good times do eventually return around these parts.
Postecoglou is right about taking the assist stats with a pinch of salt – Fernandes only registered one official assist but he created all three goals on Wednesday night to drive United to a victory that ends any fears of them sinking to relegation.
In reality, United are fortunate there are three worse teams than them in the Premier League this season.
Any side other than one of the top-flight’s woefully substandard promoted teams would have piled more misery on Ruben Amorim and his self-harming circus act.
But somehow Fernandes and his beleaguered charges were allowed to roll on into another haphazard week without further damage to points the tally.
Once again, however, how they got there was far from pretty.
Perhaps some of those made redundant in the latest round of Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s penny pinching were coaches as, somehow, United again turned the gun on themselves early on.
Andre Onana came out to collect a long ball over the top, but Patrick Dorgu did not see his goalkeeper, getting a touch that nudged the ball towards Onana’s open goal and Jaden Philogene had the simple task of tapping the loose ball home.
United toiled in sodden conditions but got themselves back level from a fizzing Fernandes free-kick that went in off Sam Morsy – the hosts’ first non-penalty first-half goal in 18 matches in all competitions.
There is no assist given it was an own goal, but it was an equaliser all about a pinpoint delivery nobody else in red can even dream of conjuring.
The turnaround was complete four minutes later after Matthijs de Ligt’s close-range finish from another Fernandes set play that had caused panic in the Ipswich defence.
Man United turn a 0-1 deficit into a 2-1 lead in just four minutes! 💥
Matthijs de Ligt fires it into the roof of the net from a few of yards out 👊
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— Football on TNT Sports (@footballontnt) February 26, 2025
United were in control of a Premier League football match. Well, we couldn’t be having that, with Dorgu swiftly learning that Old Trafford is where careers come to stagnate after he was sent off for a dangerous tackle on Omari Hutchinson.
The 10 men lasted four minutes before conceding. And, of course, it was a disasterclass, with Onana allowing a low Philogene cross to fly into the far corner in first-half stoppage time.
Having lost five of their previous seven in the league at home – where Amorim insists his mentality mice cannot cope with the pressure – United were lying on the canvas seeing stars, ready to be put out of their misery.
A United winner was only ever going to come from one source and, sure enough, a third Fernandes set piece goal of the game, this time headed home by Maguire, proved to be decisive early in the second half.
From thereon in, Fernandes covered every yard for the cause. It was a captain’s display full of heart and desire, celebrating tackles wildly as he edged his side closer to a crucial success.
Fernandes, like many others around him over the past few years, had every right to have downed his tools long ago.
This isn’t the Manchester United he signed up for, and the meagre trophy return they have mustered in those five Fernandes years is almost entirely down to the output of their skipper.
He gets a bad rap, even from his own, because of his antagonistic approach, but if you had carried dozens of overpaid, underperforming so-called superstars for so long, you might let your feelings be known, too.
What is not in doubt is the numbers. And in this Manchester United team, that consistency is simply remarkable.
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