When life gets complicated, our instincts often lead us down the wrong path. We isolate ourselves when community could heal us, or we dream of endless free time when a new challenge could fulfill us.
I've spent 15 years studying happiness, and I've had the opportunity to speak with thousands of people across all walks of life, spanning all income levels — from executives in corner offices to frontline workers.
I've learned that no matter what their background or circumstances are, the happiest people have figured out how to actively train their brains to seek joy and contentment.
Habits of people who are truly content with life
1. Prioritizing friendships: The happiest people treat their close relationships as a non-negotiable rather than a "nice-to-have." And when they schedule friend time, they try to focus on doing activities together instead of just a quick catch-up.
2. Resting strategically: Mentally exhausted? Go for a jog. Brain fried from analytical work? Do something creative with your hands. The most content people know how to intentionally match what depleted them to their mode of recovery.
3. Engaging in creative work: People who spend time on creative activities, whether it's cooking, writing, gardening or painting, report significantly higher levels of happiness. When you create something new, even if it's a hilariously bad watercolor, your brain lights up in ways that scrolling on your phone never triggers.
4. Cultivating community: The next time you feel stressed or overwhelmed, reach out instead of pulling in. Help someone else or find a cause that fills you with a sense of purpose. Your brain might protest at first, but your happiness will soar.
5. Not being afraid to geek out: The happiest people don't play it cool. They actively seek out the things, people and activities that light them up. You know the enthusiasm you feel when you talk about an activity you love? That's actually the secret ingredient to daily happiness.
6. Setting firm boundaries: Research says we need two to five hours of free time every day for peak happiness. Happy people protect their "me time," and they know that those work emails can wait until later.
7. Managing their energy: Happy people recognize their personal peaks and valleys, scheduling demanding tasks when they're naturally most alert and recovery periods when they typically slump. They create days that flow with their biology, rather than fight against it.
8. Embracing micro-connections: Research shows that random conversations with people you don't know consistently improve your mood, so that chat with your barista might just be the happiness booster you never knew you were missing.
9. Savoring the good: Truly content people don't rush. They slow down to fully absorb positive moments — the beauty of the sunset, the taste of good food, the feeling of accomplishment. By lingering in these experiences, they train their brains to experience joy more deeply.
10. Pursuing meaningful progress: Content people are always celebrating the small wins along their journey. They understand that the sense of forward momentum itself generates more joy than reaching the final destination ever will.
The happy mindset
The people I've met who have true joy in their lives don't view happiness in terms of a spotlight moment — the standing ovation, the milestone achievement or the perfect day. They consider it more like a string of lights. Each small bulb might seem insignificant on its own, but together they create something magical.
Start with just one of these small, intentional happiness habits today, and watch as your capacity for flourishing, satisfaction and contentment grows over time.
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